Make Team Feedback More Effective With COIN Conversations!

One of the most difficult parts of any team leader’s job is to have positive and effective feedback conversations.   Whether you are a coach, a sales manager, a school administrator, or a medical staff supervisor, The COIN model provides you a template for having feedback conversations that work and include 4 essential elements of effective feedback. But before you attempt to apply the model to your situation, be reminded that feedback is something that is best delivered in a timely fashion, and should be intended to help your team members grow. Feedback is not punishment, it is information and encouragement to improve… (focus on the next play!) And ANY tough conversation topic will be easier to navigate if you have invested time in building a relationship beforehand (here is a ten-cent secret to doing exactly that!)  People are much less defensive and are much more coachable when they know that you are aware of their challenges, interested in their growth, and appreciative of their efforts.      So… here is the COIN feedback conversation model:   C = CONNECTION First, connect with them personally and connect to the issue or project that you would like to discuss.  Provide context for the conversation and an emotional link to the topic.   O = OBSERVATION Second, share factual descriptions of their behavior.  It is important to be as specific as you can and to the point.  DO not waste time with dancing… just give them the numbers.   I = IMPACT ON TEAM Third, you must clarify the impact that their actions had on the team or business to inspire...

Chick-fil-A and Delta and Three Leadership Lessons

My daughter plays beach volleyball. So she was very excited when she learned about a week-long camp at Hermosa Beach, in California, that would be run by college coaches.  And she and my wife both think this is a great opportunity for her to get better and build relationships… But it was expensive.  And it involved travel.  And when I explained this to her and her mother, I was very clear that I didn’t think it would be a good idea. So, you can guess what happened. That night I registered her for the camp. I got her airplane tickets so she was on the same flight as a couple of her friends, and for the next two weeks she couldn’t think about anything else. My wife and the other moms arranged the transportation, and I was chosen to pick the girls up at the end of the camp when they got back to Atlanta. Another girl’s mom volunteered to take the girls to the airport – and their flight was scheduled to leave at 7:20 am on a Saturday morning. So Emily is up and packed and ready to go at 4:30 am. She can’t wait.  This is a kid that you have to wake up 3 times and drag out of bed to go to school – who was up and alert at 4:00 am completely on her own. So a couple hours later I leave, because I have an event that day, and I am presenting at a conference.  Twenty minutes before I am supposed to present to the audience, I get a call from my wife....

The 5 Word Phrase That Dooms Team Interactions and Individual Improvement

There is a 5 word phrase that dooms your team interactions. I have written before about how to benefit from the working with a “sandpaper person” on your team, and have also discussed the conflicts that can arise if your people are not aware of the strengths and challenges that different team personality types offer. But there is an issue even more dangerous to your team than either of those circumstances, and it involves a specific set of words that some people on your team may have been thinking or even saying out loud. The good news is that the condition is treatable.  The bad news is that often the people who suffer from the effects of this condition often do not realize the negative effects of their affliction. Of course, the “condition” that I am referring to is a repeated use and belief in a 5 word phrase that absolutely dooms team interactions and individual improvement. It is a phrase that you must never allow to be spoken – unless it is followed by a swift and passionate rebuttal.  Your silence would imply consent, and that would be devastating to your organization’s future. The 5 word phrase you need to train your ears to catch and correct is “that’s just how I am…” Think about that for a moment. “That’s just how I am” is a disturbingly common comment that becomes an excuse for poor team interactions and destructive behavior. Maybe you know someone who has used that phrase following a particularly unprofessional moment, where they said or did something that could really have no rational justification. That...

The 12 Best Books for Coaches and Great Teammates

Coaches and great teammates both read books, because they know that readers are leaders. When I was a coach, I was a voracious reader. I was constantly seeking new titles that would help me to grow – whether it was from a leader in a different sport or even from a leader in a different industry. And when I found a good one, I liked to share it with coaches and athletes that I knew were working hard to be great teammates.  That is what led me to creating this list for you… Great Teammates and Coaches are Readers    But what does reading have to do with teambuilding? In locker rooms, in board rooms, and in classrooms, great teammates and leaders know that to grow and develop others you must first focus on growing and developing yourself! Over the years, when I would share books and give away copies of the best books that I had read to coaches and great teammates, it seemed that there were a few that I always kept returning to as the most impactful and instructive. So, for all of the great teammates and coaches who are seeking a list of the best books to add to their reading list or to share with others and study over the course of your next season, I have put together my list. The list is not exhaustive, but the titles below are the ones I have recommended and given as gifts over the years more often than others.   The 12 Best Books for Coaches and Great Teammates   Toughness: Developing True Strength On and Off...

Move Your Team From Values to Behaviors

All failure is the result of vagueness. That is a powerful and memorable statement… But it means nothing if the insight is not translated into a changed behavior. There is a great deal of value in discussing and selecting core values. You can even download a very useful virtues and values activity on my resources page…   Your personal core values should be a list of qualities and priorities that all of your decisions are influenced and guided by. Your organization’s core values paly a similar role, and should be the filter through which your team sees and decides on issues and strategy… But as valuable as those values discussions are, placing a list of core values on the wall will NOT improve your personal or corporate productivity unless you take the NEXT STEP.   To make them matter, move from Values to Behaviors.   When I worked with a company last year to help them craft their values and a more engaging mission statement, they thought that the work was done when we had carved their ideas down into a few words that sounded really inspiring and purposeful. But that was only the first step. The next step was the really impactful one. The next step involves defining how those values will be ACTED OUT AS BEHAVIORS on a daily basis in their hallways and in their communications with each other and with their clients. Values are important.  But there is something more important…   ACTIONS are how others judge us…   Consider the value or trait of “integrity.” Most every organization would agree that it is important....

The Top 10 Questions to Establish Better Team Rapport

Any team you become a part of – and certainly any team you are asked to lead – will be starving for the opportunity to get to know and appreciate their teammates better. As you might have experienced, hunger can sometimes make people weak and unmotivated, or can even make them irritable and defensive… but while your own physical hunger is often easily remedied with a snack or meal, teams often suffer – for the duration of their project or season – from an unidentified and unsatisfied hunger to understand other members and build relationships.  The only way to satiate that hunger for rapport is to provide your people the time and opportunity to share their background, talents, and motivations with each other.  Whether it is a questionnaire you send out to members that can be discussed and shared later, or as a group activity where members pair off and then share responses with the group, the impact of giving your people the forum to express their personality and reasons for investment in your project cannot be overestimated.  All answers should be shared with the entire group present to allow for laughter and follow-up questions that may arise to build stronger bonds of understanding.  Strong leaders will get them to do more than just show up – they will encourage team members to open up and begin to feel a part of something bigger than themselves – and to feel cared about as an individual. The following suggested questions all encourage your team members to offer personal information or metaphorical thinking to help identify or explain issues that may need to be addressed...